Ok To Cry!! / Tahiesha Westmoreland ((Adopted Aunty) )
Nowhere does it say a person must cry to be healed. Or that we must cry in front of others. Some sob, others wail and keen; some remain silent, tears flowing inside. Some select the time and place where they will release the flood. Others find themselves incapable of controlling the tide.
Many have wanted to cry and just felt they couldn't open the ducts. They might substitute a healthy scream for the effort. Screaming can release the emotions blocking the tears, suppressing the buds of healing from surfacing.
So can journaling, or writing about our grief journeys. Sitting quietly, allowing ourselves to focus, relaxing into our pain may stimulate the tears. But if it doesn't, perhaps we simply aren't ready to cry. Be assured, humans cry. And, like grief ebbs and flows, so will our need to cry.
And, what if we suddenly find ourselves enjoying something, actually laughing until tears flow again? Shocked to think we might be forgetting our pain, forgetting our loved one and moving forward, we may suck our breath inward, gasp our tears back, feel guilt and remorse instead of gladness. Is this the way it is to be forever? How long before we allow ourselves to anticipate good things even while succumbing to periods of grief and longing? The answer seems repetitive ... as long as we need..
Life is full of sorrow, from birth to death. Life is also full of wonder and joy. We experience so much in this world. Tears are small miracles of life, for tears of joy and tears of pain both heal.
This spring we will watch bulbs blossom, trees turn green and grass peek through. perhaps hidden in our grief, almost without our acknowledgment or our awareness, we will sense our own growth, too. We will celebrate our humanness by honoring our need to cry or not to cry. We will laugh when we can, cry if we feel it, and allow others to do what they find healing, too.
Spring is about deluges of raindrops, sunny days pushing past huge, gray clouds, impatiently waiting for the weather to get better. So, too, is grief. Out of great pain and sorrow comes learning, possibilities and growth. Maybe even a deeper knowledge of eternal spring.
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